The Age of Suzuhara
by SecondAngel
Summary: Be Afraid....... Be VERY afraid


________________________Chapter 1: The Start of the "Third Impact"_______________________________  
  
(c)Copyright 2002  
All 2nd Angel Works are not to be distributed without permission  
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion  
  
____________The Tale Unfolds_____________________________________________________________________  
  
Shinji starts out his lunch with sandwiches and his pals  
  
Shinji: Hey Touji, You said you were gonna give me something today.  
Touji: Yeah shin-man, Here it is. (Gives him package)  
Kensuke: What's in it?  
Shinji: Let's see (Opens box). It's a videotape  
Touji: Yeah Shinji. I caught Rei bathing in her bathroom and took a video of it.  
Kensuke: Why Touji... why...  
Touji: Huh what's the matter with you?  
Kensuke: Why didn't you give it to me for resolution increase......?  
Touji: Hey, she was nearly finished.  
Kensuke: Not good enough.  
Touji: Hey I was in a hurry, Gimme a break  
Shinji: Uh... Touji.... I don't like her... (Blushes)  
Touji: Oh! You don't like her. You're right you don't like her. I'll replace it with   
Asuka's then.  
Shinji: Wait! I didn't say that...  
  
Suddenly a dark terrifying shadow approaches Touji. It starts breathing heavily as Touji   
senses a vocabulary lesson in pain coming up or his personal "English Teacher".  
  
Asuka: What were you saying about me!?  
Kensuke: *gasp* Demon-Girl! GET THE PRIESTS!!!  
Touji: I thought her "I'm being talked about" detector was offline!  
Asuka: What were you two talking about? (Nice-angry mood)  
Touji and Kensuke: Nothing he.... he....he?  
Touji: Hide the tape (whispering)  
Asuka: Oh Kensuke what is that? (Nice-angry mood). Let me see "Rei Bathing" and   
according to the other students beside your table you were gonna replace it with mine.  
Touji and Kensuke: Now now Asuka... Let's not get hasty now.....  
Asuka: Okay you two bakas, Come with me......  
___________________________________Author's Notes________________________________________________  
The proceeding beating was too gruesome to be detailed here. As a summary she beat the   
fuckin crap out of them  
  
Thank You  
_________________________________________________________________________________________________  
In the clinic...  
  
Our two students moan in pain and misery as bruises appear in every part of their body  
  
Touji: Ohhhh... Mental note: Always check if her detector is offline  
Kensuke: You're right.... Ohhhhh....  
  
Suddenly a fat and ugly nurse came to treat their wounds  
  
In the classroom...  
  
Two voices are heard from elsewhere screaming for help  
  
Shinji: Did I just hear something? Nah couldn't be  
  
Soon classes were over. Shinji went home with Asuka as usual. Then they see someone....  
  
Touji and Kensuke: HELP GET US AWAY FROM THAT NURSE!!!!!  
Nurse: Wait you're still not bandaged  
Touji and Kensuke: WE DON'T CARE, JUST GO AWAY!!!!!!  
  
As the two ran as if their lives were at stake but Shinji and Asuka didn't care. Soon  
they were home.  
  
Shinji: Well now as I can remember it now....  
Asuka: Misato's turn to cook.....  
Misato: Hello! It's my turn and I would like to eat Kaji and me's fried ra- I mean  
fried chicken.  
Shinji: Why are you early?  
Misato: I'm going back to our out- I mean work so I'd like you to taste it.  
Shinji: Hmmm... Looks edible enough...  
  
After acquiring a few antidotes and panaceas, they were ready.  
  
Shinji: Yum! Tasty! This does not taste like chicken but it tastes good.  
Asuka: You're right, baka Shinji. Alright Misato, cough it out, what is it?  
Misato: It's rabbit.  
Shinji: Oh that reminds me. I had a rabbit I bought and gave it to a rabbit farm down  
the road. It had a blue spot on the foot.  
Misato: Funny thing... right? Hehehe...  
Shinji: Huh? What's this? (Sees blue spot on foot part) *gasp* Misato how could you!  
Misato: What are you talking about?  
Shinji: I trust you all this time and you serve my friend on a platter deep fried.  
Misato: Get over it Shinji.  
Asuka: Okay the next is RABBIT HEAD ON A SILVER PLATTER!!!!!  
Shinji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Friend eaters!!!!  
  
Shinji ran like a madman to his room while shouting "FRIEND EATERS!!!!" all the time.  
He then rested on his bed praying the safety of his rabbit in heaven. Asuka and Misato  
were totally freaked out at what he did.  
  
Misato: Uh... You better apologize Asuka.  
Asuka: What do you mean me, You're to blame, you served his rabbit.  
Misato: Well the blame goes to the three of us.   
Asuka: What makes you say that?  
Misato: Well first, I serve the rabbit, second you tease him, third he eats the meal.  
Asuka: Makes sense to me.  
  
Back to Shinji........  
  
Shinji tells himself to calm down and control himself. As he tries to control himself his mind  
tells him not to trust Misato that much anymore. He then listens to his SDAT.  
He soon finds himself calming down and feeling more at ease with the music that  
he is listening to. Now he falls asleep with a happy smile on his face.  
  
The next day........  
  
Shinji and Asuka soon arrive at school. They sit down on their desks forgetting about the madman  
like experience Shinji has done last night. Then a message appears on Shinji's mini PC. It read  
"Hey shin-man, do you know any good excuses I can use?" Shinji looks at the name of the sender.  
It read "Touji Suzuhara". Shinji then replies why and Touji replies that he hates doing chores and Shinji  
replies " I don't know any good ones because I DO chores". Touji feels out of luck after the reply because  
Kensuke too did chores as well. After the "Greatest Lecture of All Time" or GLAT or GLOAT if you added of  
(sarcasm) ended the three stooges went out to the cafeteria for some lunch. Touji still bothers   
Shinji about the topic he brought up.  
  
Shinji: Hey Touji! Stop bothering me, I don't know any good excuses.  
Touji: Come on now, You should know at least ONE.  
Shinji: My mind's a blank.  
Touji: Kensuke, Do you know any good ones?  
Kensuke: Nope, Not a word.  
Touji: Come on you two, Just ONE excuse.  
Kensuke: If you accept Shinji and Hikari love each other.  
Touji: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! NEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Kensuke: Just kidding Touji.  
Touji: Lucky it was a joke or Shinji would have been dead right now.  
  
After class Touji went home through a shortcut he found out. He started watching TV as soon as he got home.  
He started watching the Black Market Home TV Shopping channel.  
  
  
_______________________________The Program on TV__________________________________________________  
  
Announcer: Hello smugglers and cons and welcome to the "Black Market Home TV Shopping" channel.  
Our first item is this lovely cloning device. For only 2500 yen you can own this baby. It's very high tech  
and comes with a user-friendly interface. Also makes GREAT French fries.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
Touji: French fries...... I'll buy one!  
  
__________End of Chapter One_______________________________________________________________________  
  
How do you like it?  
Sure hope so!  
So for reviews send it to mfmagbal@hotmail.com (i.e. TensaiMan)  
Put the subject as "2nd Angel Works." I'll tell you when I have my own e-mail address.  
  
Next Chapter: Destroy the Evil Machine 


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